At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
