Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
