All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
