I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
