guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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