then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
