There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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