how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
