I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
