Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize