I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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