Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we're making bets on your personal life
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
