Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
