It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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