Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours

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(815): View more from Illinois

Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

(1-815): View more from Illinois

You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...

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(512): View more from Texas

Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?

(830): View more from Texas

its hotter. Way hotter.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.

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(509): View more from Washington

My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.

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(+22): View more from

Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.

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