Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just high enough for therapy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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