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• (415): View more from California

  there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping

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• (813): View more from Florida

  worms taste like bacon by the way.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  I always wondered what they tasted like.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.

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  These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.

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• (714): View more from California

  Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..

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  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  For the caroling or the orgy?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm so proud of us for not dying.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.

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