Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal http://tfl.nu/ode2

Replies (66) Good night (2299) Bad night (4638)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present. http://tfl.nu/aj43

Replies (16) Good night (5762) Bad night (1300)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost. http://tfl.nu/jb2u

Replies (15) Good night (4344) Bad night (1006)
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11. http://tfl.nu/k8vl

Replies (21) Good night (5621) Bad night (2842)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m

Replies (15) Good night (1499) Bad night (1846)
Favorite
(417): View more from Missouri

woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(417): woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before. http://tfl.nu/td38

Replies (4) Good night (1608) Bad night (627)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B http://tfl.nu/w0hg

Replies (12) Good night (3078) Bad night (956)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions http://tfl.nu/aecl

Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (578)
Favorite
(785): View more from Kansas

I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(785): I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be. http://tfl.nu/axzh

Replies (7) Good night (498) Bad night (861)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service. http://tfl.nu/lvor

Replies (4) Good night (829) Bad night (496)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C. http://tfl.nu/gqta

Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (444)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough. http://tfl.nu/b714

Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (444)
Favorite
(417): View more from Missouri

I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(417): I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player http://tfl.nu/158m

Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (481)
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/8d59

Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (187)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week. http://tfl.nu/tkc3

Replies (1) Good night (144) Bad night (53)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard