Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
