i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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