How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize