Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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