Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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