You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize