if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
