some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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