I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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