yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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