Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
