I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
