I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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