too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Every concussion has its silver lining
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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