you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
