D3 body, D1 cock
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
