On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
