I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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