never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
