I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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