Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
