So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
