My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We got so high we made milksteak
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
