i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
be right there i have to get my cape
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
pray to the hookup gods
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
