Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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