whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
