yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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