Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think I died a long time ago.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
