I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
