dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
