It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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