She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
