just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
being pregnant is like rehab
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
