Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just had sex bonerless
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
