your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
