You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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