I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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