pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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