Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
