if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
