Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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