HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
