i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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