so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
