its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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