And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
