I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
