I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
