Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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