hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
